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Muzun Defects
Brothers Join Effort to Unseat New College
President
Under the military
direction of the former UFO College Dean of Students, Phillip Bboc, an
early morning raid on the just completed Memorial was
successful in toppling the 1 ton bust of the Alienman. Campus officials
were shocked to learn that Dr. Jack Muzun and his brother, Gene Muzun,
have joined forces with the Resistance in order to pull off this feat. A
spokesman for the Alienman, now President of the college and using the
name of former president Nerglha, said that all
efforts are now underway to capture those responsible for the action.
The Resistance forces are believed to be a group of 10 to 20 determined
to return former UFO College President and Mentor to 1,000s of college
alumni, Robert Nerglha, to the College's Presidential mansion!
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Nerglha, Bboc Still Alive!
Press Office Receives Photo
Apparently in response to the
recent controversial changes in the management of UFO College, a photo was
sent by the former president of UFO College to the
Editor In Chief of the UFO College Press. It shows former president Nerglha
and former college dean Phillip Bboc, along with
one of their former students -all in good health and still traveling in a 63 VW Bug. Handwriting on the photo is believed to belong to Nerglha and
perhaps indicates their intention to return to the College and regain
their rightful positions of leadership. Authorities have been searching
for the trio since their untimely disappearance this past summer. Campus
police, under instructions from the new UFO College president, are
stepping up efforts to find the group before the upcoming 2002 New
Year's party.
Muzun Transfers Power
Alienman assumes Presidency
An unexpected announcement by acting College
President, Jack Muzun, has essentially ended the speculation that former
College President, Robert Nerglha would return. Nerglha and former Dean
of Students, Phillip Bboc, have been missing since early summer 2001
with only unsupported evidence that their disappearance was due to some
sort of coup d'tat. Muzun held a closed news conference where he
stated to the media that the, "change of leadership would happen
immediately and that everything would would return to normal now with Alienman
as the UFO College president"! (One of the first declarations from
the new president was to cancel the
Bboc
Memorial fund construction project.) Some students and faculty are speculating
that some sort of deal was worked out between Muzun and Alienman to keep
Nerglha and Bboc out of the power loop if in fact that they are ever
found alive.
Bboc & Nerglha Located?
Officials at the
College are reporting that President Nerglha and Dean Bboc may have been
found! Pictures obtained by unknown sources show Bboc and Nerglha apparently
sightseeing at a known National monument, Meteor Crater in Northern Arizona.
They apparently have been traveling since their disappearance in an old 1963
VW Bug. A National Park spokesman commenting off the record said that these
two "homeless type individuals" have been living out of the VW Bug at the
base of the crater since early August and often have been chased away by
Park Rangers, only to return again and again. There is an unknown individual
traveling with them, thought to be a former Student activist at the College.
College security, back from holiday, has reported that there is "movement"
on the case and that there may be a news conference held by the current
College president, Jack Muzun, in the next several days. They refused to
confirm to reporters that Muzun has been under house arrest since Monday,
Oct. 29th.
Italian Stone Carvers Fired!
It is with mixed emotions that I must
report on the status of the Bboc memorial fund drive. Because of the
temporary suspension of the memorial, I have been forced to lay off 30
Italian stone carvers. In view of the weak economy this was an
unpleasant task. Because of this there have been threats of picketing
against the college. I assured the carvers that if Bboc was indeed dead
then work would begin immediately. This seemed to warm their hearts and
they begin to chant " Red is better dead ",an obvious reference to Bboc.
When I suggested that former President Nerglia might be dead and another
memorial might be constructed even larger than Bboc's , this drew a
louder applause.
On another note; we have received another major promise of a multi
million dollar gift if indeed Bboc is dead -new wing to the campus would
be built for free! We have also received word from a source close to the
Bush administration that if Bboc is found "newly dead, near dead, or
freshly dead, he could become the 61st stem cell line allowed for
research. How exciting this would be for the college, a clone of Dean
Bboc. We will continue to accept donations to the memorial fund until we
hear otherwise.
Regards,
Dr. Gnortsmra
Alumni Fund Director
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